"Hillary, I know it may not my place to say..."
"Yes, Lena?"
"Don't you think you should...um...cut back on the drinking a bit?"
"I don't have a problem, Lena."
"It's just that you drink and fall down, you black out and then go into rages, you..."
"Spit it out, Lena."
"Ha!"
"What's so funny?"
"'Spit it out' makes me think of blow-jobs. Like, not swallowing. And, well..."
"Do NOT go there, child."
"Hillary, it's just that you tinkle yourself. Like, all the time."
"America is electing my Vagina, Lena, not my Bladder. They want me to be in My Rightful Place, where I can administer to their needs as I see Fit. For the fucking Children, Lena: for the fucking Children."
"I fully support you in that Hillary -- it's just that, well, I'm afraid you're going to have a stroke and die before the Election."
"Death knows not to fuck with me, Lena. I'll be alive long after America is but a memory."
"But maybe just a little less Vodka might help your stamina..."
"You don't see them, Lena."
"See what, Hillary?"
"Them. The faces, like wolves. They chase me, and they tear at me in my dreams. Except they are not dreams, they are all around me. Some dress like my Secret Service agents. They don't know that I know, but I know."
"Maybe this Election might be too much for you right now, Hillary. You know, Bernie isn't such a bad guy, and you can do good work with your Charity..."
"Bernie?! Are you a fucking traitor? Is that it, you bitch? I'll fist-fuck you in your ass -- I'll fist-fuck you so fucking hard..."
"No, Hillary, no! I support only you..."
"Bernie is part of the Vast Right Wing Conspiracy -- don't you see that? He is being funded by the Koch Brothers to try to ruin me! "
"Hill--"
"Everyone thinks he is this gentle Socialist, but he's not! You can't be a gentle Socialist, you gotta be ruthless to be a Socialist if you expect it to work -- you got to be willing to get bloody! I'm not afraid to have blood on my hands!"
"Uh, Hillary, I think you're due to meet the rally..."
"The Rally, right. Time to be the Caring Grandmother for the stupid fucks..."
I am Laslo.
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