"It was in the Pamphlet I gave you outside the Seven-Eleven, Isaac."

Cult Leader Jerry?"

"Yes, Isaac?"

"The World IS coming to an End soon, right?"

"Yes it is, Isaac: I have received the Prophecy. These are Dark Days."

"But is it 'soon' or 'soon-soon'? Because all of this fasting is making me dizzy and weak."

"Dizzy and Weak is The Way to He Who Rules the Stars."

"But I mean I am VERY weak -- my Cape of Molakai keeps slipping off my shoulders."

"Be Patient, Isaac: All comes in the Time of the Coming."

"But we even got coupons from Burger King in the mail: buy one Whopper and we get another, Free!"

"The Burger King is a False Prophet, Isaac: surely you have read that in my Revelations."

"Yes, yes: But maybe we can just get some fries, at least?"

"Do you not remember my teachings on the Potato With The Face of The Devil?"

"I didn't realize that applied to all potatoes -- I thought it was just that particular one."

"All potatoes, Isaac: all potatoes. And potato-related products."

"Cult Leader Jerry, I don't know how long I can hang on until the Spaceship comes with the Star-Milk of Plenty."

"Then you shall again Suck the Seed from My Scepter, Isaac: my Soul Milk will provide you all the Nutrition you need."

"Ummm..."

"Is there a problem, Isaac?"

"Cult Leader Jerry, when I joined I didn't realize I would always be having to Suck your Cock."

"It was in the Pamphlet I gave you outside the Seven-Eleven, Isaac."

"I thought it was more like a metaphor."

"Truth is Truth, Isaac. No more, no less."

"But it seems like all I do is wear a Cape and suck your Cock. Surely there is more to this?"

"Be Grateful for My Gift, Isaac: at least you are not like the Women Followers, who receive the Glorious Seed anally..."

I am Laslo.