"Brad?"
"Yes, Steve?"
"I can't believe I didn't even score a Bronze Medal in that event."
"Well, you did your best, right?"
"Yeah. It's just that when I rounded that first turn and the anal leakage started..."
"That WAS unfortunate."
"All these years, training, then -- Bam! -- Anal Leakage. In front of millions of viewers. Now I'm going to always be known as the Olympian who had anal leakage."
"I'm sure it will blow over."
"Blow over? Have you seen the Internet? There's a Photo of me going round with shit dripping down my legs with the caption "Winner of the Brown Medal."
"That IS kinda funny."
"I'm gonna be on the Internet forever, with shit dripping down my legs. How am I going to get a Commercial Sponsor now?
"Well..."
"Don't say it: don't say it. I'm gonna hear enough "Depends" jokes as it is."
"Well you still have two more events."
"Yeah, I do. And all anyone is going to want to see is if I shit my pants again."
"Yeah. I saw that they're taking odds in Vegas."
"But I think I can do it. I just have to believe in myself, and believe I can run a race without shitting myself."
"That's the Olympic Spirit!"
"Brad?"
"Yes, Steve?"
"Should I run with a tampon in my ass? You know: just in case?"
"It couldn't hurt..."
I am Laslo.
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