"So Mom, you're saying you DON'T want grandchildren?"
"Yes, dear. There are already too many people, all ruining the Earth."
"But you had us..."
"That was before I knew about Global Warming, silly. If I had known about Global Warming while I was pregnant I would've aborted you. For the Earth."
"So you'd would be happier if I was never here?"
"Don't take it personally, dear. It's just that I look at you and am ashamed for what I have done to the world."
"I don't know what to say..."
"One of the saddest days of my life was when I found out you weren't Gay."
"Excuse me?"
"If you were Gay you wouldn't reproduce. That would've taken some of my pain away..."
"Mother!"
"Are you SURE you're not Gay? I mean, did you ever try?"
"I have Hope for the Future. And if I were to have children I would have Hope for their Future, not Fear."
"Oh, dear, you have always been so naive. Your Generation is killing the World with your careless Heterosexual lifestyles. Maybe I should've been Gay: that would've been better, knowing what I know now."
"Mom!"
"I bet I could've learned to like licking pussy. Maybe even scissoring. Of course now after my hip and knee replacements I think my ability to scissor is gone."
"I don't think I want to be having this conversation..."
"Did I tell you I knew a lesbian when I was in college. Adorable girl. Pretty legs. Who knows what could've happened."
"Mother, I'm worried dementia might be setting in."
"God, I hope so. I can't wait until I forget forever what I have done to the World by having children. I won't even recognize you or your siblings. I will finally sleep with a clean conscience."
"I think I'm going to leave now..."
"In that gas-guzzling car of yours?"
"Mother, it's a compact."
"Sure, dear: whatever makes you feel better."
"Goodbye, Mother..."
"Goodbye, dear. Dear?"
"Yes, Mom?'
"You'll drive by next week with my medications? I don't think I'd live a week without them..."
I am Laslo.
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