Amber, the Blacked-Out Possibly Raped College Girl says:
I was out at the beach with friends, enjoying the sun and the water and the warm mellow vibe. The thing about possibly being raped led to a lot of body issues for me, and the result was I lost a lot of weight and look pretty good in a bikini now, so there is that...
I can tell when men are staring at me: I was pulling my bathing suit bottom out of the crack of my ass when I turned around and -- sure enough -- several men were staring at me and smiling. I'm sorry: sometimes your bikini bottom crawls up the crack of your ass...
We were drinking wine -- good times -- when I realized that the wine might not be a good thing on top of my anti-depressants. I felt woozy, and a friend's friend offered to let me lay down in the back of his orange VW van. It was a cool van, totally Seventies old school, and I said yes: I now desperately needed to lie down, everything was swimming...
I woke up on my stomach in the back of the van and realized that my bikini bottoms didn't seem to be on right. I can't quite articulate how they felt different, but I know that is not how they usually were. There was also some wadded up tissue by my side; I don't remember it being there before, but then maybe I just didn't notice...
I asked a friend if anyone had happened to come into the van with me, but she just shook her head: she had been pretty drunk by that point, and didn't really remember anything except maybe giving some guy a blow-job....
Maybe I wasn't raped. Maybe I had consensual sex but just don't remember it. Maybe I didn't have sex at all, I was just irritated by sand in my bikini. The friend's friend was kind enough to drive me home in his van, but I told him 'No' when he asked to come inside -- I wasn't feeling like company, and everyone now was giving me a bad vibe...
So I took some of the Vicodin I had left from my ski-boarding injury, and went back to sleep.
I thought being raped would be different.
I am Laslo.
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