Friday, March 10, 2017

1. Shit! There IS an afterlife! And it's full of fucking White People! Damn!

From the Fauxhaus Blog:

"Doctors in a Canadian intensive care unit have stumbled on a very strange case - when life support was turned off for four terminal patients, one of them showed persistent brain activity even after they were declared clinically dead.

For more than 10 minutes after doctors confirmed death through a range of observations, including the absence of a pulse and unreactive pupils, the patient appeared to experience the same kind of brain waves (delta wave bursts) we get during deep sleep...."

The concept of Life after Death is a weighty one, rich in the opportunities of possibility and conjecture. For a mere blog post perhaps it is better to narrow it down in scope, so let's approach this through a smaller lens: if Samuel L. Jackson was clinically dead yet still emitting brain activity, what would we think?

Is that activity akin to Tweets, brief signals sent out on the Universe's own infinite internet? Is he trying to communicate with us, or are we wrong to try to listen in on a private conversation he is having with his Maker? 

Time for a poll:

What do you think dead Samuel L. Jackson is REALLY saying?

1. Shit! There IS an afterlife! And it's full of fucking White People! Damn!

2. There was so much I left undone. So much I missed. So much useless anger. Only now do I truly understand what Life was, and what Life could have been. 

3. What part of Heaven here has them Southern slave-owners? I got some motherfuckkin' asses to kick, and all of Eternity to do it...

4. That damn Personal Assistant of mine better damn well delete all of my Black Man / White Woman Porn -- I don't want THAT shit on TMZ....

5. My last fuckin' film on Earth is gonna be "Kong: Skull Island"? They ain't gonna give me no fuckin' posthumous Oscar for THAT!

6. You're Saint Peter? Muthafukka, Please!

I am Laslo.

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