Sunday, March 12, 2017

Ash: Daddy thought you were DIFFERENT.

From the Fauxhaus Blog:

In an earlier comment regarding Ash Hollywood's new large tattoos I wrote "I'm sure there are psychological issues, and Daddy Issues, probably." 

On refection, I thought that might be harsh and reactionary. So I read some articles about women's relationships with their tattoos. 

So -- upon reflection -- I say: ""I'm sure there are psychological issues, and Daddy Issues, probably." And the use of "Patriarchy" definitely indicates the latter. Obviously.Daddy's Little Girl is Not a Little Girl Anymore! I Can Do What I Want With My Body! It's My Body and You Can't Stop Me, Daddy! Like that, followed by a bout of hysterical crying and a runny nose.

Go ahead, read the article: or just look at the pictures, I guess. The vast monochromatic battleship across her chest: what the fuck happened? Sometimes you see an ugly tattoo and can still kinda picture what the original intentions were, but with this one -- did someone draw pirate ships with their only crayon as a little girl? Did Daddy not get you other crayons? Or were you coloring your misery at an early age? 

And even a little girl would know that, if you are to get a tattoo of a pirate ship, you get it on your booty. Booty: pirate joke. Little kids would laugh now. Except for the sullen ones: they will hole up in their room and scribble hateful things on the chalkboard in their brain.

So after my research, comprised of mostly reading this article, I have come up with the following:

My theory on excessive female tattooing: ugly chicks are trying to hide the ugly outside, pretty chicks are trying to hide the ugly inside. I just came up with that. Sometimes it works that way: you start a sentence with "My theory on..." and then you have to come up with something.

Time for a poll:

How do you feel about large tattoos on girls?

1. It is their body, Daddy. They can do what they want.

2. Baby, think of your wedding day.

3. Leave them for the ugly chicks. Pretty girls don't need that shit, just lipstick and that other chick stuff. That washes off.

4. I like them. It is an expression of creativity and I hope she will sleep with me, I'm getting desperate here.

5. I'm okay with them, but NOT on the tits, OK?

6. I am very mad at Ash Hollywood for doing this to herself. Ash: Daddy thought you were DIFFERENT.

I am Laslo.

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