Tuesday, March 7, 2017

I like Jennifer Garner and I masturbate about her. What was the question?

From the Fauxhaus Blog:

Slaves Just Hardworking Immigrants?? 'MUTHAFUKKA PLEASE!!!'

No, this is not a post to discuss the penumbra of Ben Carson's statement, nor that of Jackson's, albeit 'MUTHAFUKKA PLEASE!!!' creates a pretty impressive penumbra indeed, perhaps a penumbra with dry ice and a muthafukkin' laser show.

Nor is it an excuse to bring up "Snakes On a Plane", although you are free to discuss that film's delicate subtext in the comments: what DO the snakes represent? Or are snakes just snakes? Clue: a snake is NEVER just a snake (reference The Garden of Eden, to begin).

What captures my interest is what the executives at Capital One are thinking. They have hired Jackson to be their credit-card spokesman, presumably to add a bit of edge and authenticity, but how edgy can a spokesman be? 

For a point of context, look at Matthew McConaughey, spokesman for the Lincoln MKC: cool, calm, a bit eccentric but in a soulful way. Here is a representative tweet from the man:

"might need to bid on my friend Evel Knievel's famous cane full of @wildturkey that's up for auction"

I don't believe the Lincoln execs are up in arms over a reference to Evel Knievel; indeed, they might like that it adds a bit of devil-may-care frison-by-association to their product. Of course, Evel was white: there is that. Could McConaughey get away with saying "my friend, muthafukkin' Evel Knievel"? I expect that would cause no extra use of antacids in the boardroom.

But Jackson? Can a Black Spokesman be THAT kind of black? Obviously, the man's fans will have no issue with his Tweet: it is what they expect, and it shows that, despite the ad money, the Man ain't got HIM by the balls.

But are there Capital One credit-card holders out there that will say, in effect, 'MUTHAFUKKA PLEASE!!!'? That the uncomfortable issue of race is NOT want they want in their wallet? That Hollywood stars should just shut up when they take the money?

Mind you, if this was Billy Dee Williams for "Colt .45" the situation would play a bit differently. Remember their ad line:

"Colt .45: It gets the job done."

Adding a "MUTHAFUKKA" to the end of that statement would no doubt help, not hurt, its sales. But does that mean a black pitchman can only be 'real' if he is selling products like malt liquor? Could Matthew McConaughey sell Colt .45? Would that upset their current target audience?

Maybe the only thing one can say about all of this is: 'MUTHAFUKKA PLEASE!!!

I am Laslo.



Maybe my Fauxhaus Blog comment at 7:20 needed a poll.

What best describes your reaction to Samuel L. Jackson's Tweet?

1. Jackson is right. Deal with it.

2. Jackson is wrong. I'm rethinking my credit cards.

3. Capital One also uses Jennifer Garner as a Spokesperson. I like Jennifer Garner. Not like I masturbate about her, though.

4. I like Jennifer Garner and I masturbate about her. What was the question?

5. Snakes On a Plane" was about Race in America: how can you not see that?


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