Tuesday, March 28, 2017

Important thing I have learned: drunk girls ALL have a girlfriend who has been being such a bitch lately...

Guy in the Blue Corolla says....

You have to make mistakes to figure out what the mistakes are. I used to just drive around the city, trying to talk girls into my car, but it rarely worked.  I tried pretending I was lost and asking for directions, then I pretended I needed help looking for my lost kitty kat, and things got a bit better, but I was still unsuccessful far more often than not...

Then -- when I DID get a girl in the car -- I soon realized you can't get the duct tape on their mouth while you are also trying to drive: it just doesn't work. Also: if they are not properly tied up they can jump out of the car at red lights -- people notice those kinds of things, and some may even be able to remember your license plate number...

I realized you get a head-start by picking up girls that are visibly drunk outside of clubs at the end of the night. You tell them "Hey? Remember me? We talked at the bar a week ago -- you told me about that girlfriend of yours who was being such a bitch lately. Need a ride?" Important thing I have learned: drunk girls ALL have a girlfriend who has been being such a bitch lately...

The best part about the drunk girls is that most of them will have passed out by the time you drive a few blocks, which then makes tying them up a LOT easier. Of course, when you duct-tape their mouths it increases the chances that they will choke on their own vomit, so you have to pay attention: this is why it is also important to keep a plastic bucket in the back seat -- I learned THAT one the hard way...

I could tell you more, but I don't want to give away ALL of my hard-earned secrets. Sometimes you just have to decide you're going to do what you're going to do, and then figure things out on the way. One last piece of advice, though: if you do not know how to tie a good, sturdy knot you are NOT ready yet....



I am Laslo.



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