"Oh, you'd be surprised. Gwyneth Paltrow's people have already contacted me about her doing a tasting."
"Well: what do you think?"
"It certainly LOOKS like a delicious pastry, but it smells... funky."
"Oh, that: that's the cat shit."
"What? Why the hell are you putting cat shit in your pastries?"
"It's the New Thing. People love their cats."
"I understand liking cats, but putting their shit into food items…?"
"It's gonna be BIG, I tell you. People in Manhattan are already talking about it."
"But it smells like cat shit."
"Yeah: I'm working on that. I have infused it with olive oil and feta cheese, but the smell still comes right through."
"I'm afraid to ask what it tastes like…"
"Well, between the oils and the cheeses and the dark chocolate you can barely taste the cat shit."
"I'm not sure "barely taste it" is enough…"
"Yeah. It's easier to work with the product of cats that don't eat fish."
"Good to know."
"Actually, it's kind of a plus: I can advertise that the cat shit all comes from vegan cats."
"Does that make the cat shit vegan?"
"I'm not sure about that one. I'll probably need a lawyer to look that over. Vegans are a touchy lot."
"But doesn't cat shit have diseases?"
"Oh, you mean like Toxoplasma? Well, I have the cats dewormed before collecting their feces, but there's always going to be a risk involved in eating cat shit. People can make their own decisions on acceptable risk."
"I just don't see how this takes off…"
"Oh, you'd be surprised. Gwyneth Paltrow's people have already contacted me about her doing a tasting. Once she gives it her approval all the models and stars will jump on…"
"Well, good luck on improving the smell…"
"Yeah. I'm thinking some cinnamon might help: I put it in my Cat Urine drinks and it has been pretty successful…"