Sunday, September 11, 2016

Cards have been dealt.


"Ms. Meadows, Clinically Depressed Therapist"

Many of my clients, their depression stems from the nagging truth of having fallen short in life. Well-educated, they thought they would be among the Elite, but the Elite have no time for them. They are on the Outside, and this empties them out from the Inside -- of Pride, of Hope, of Dignity, of an Identity that was never theirs...

Of course, they wishfully think there still could be Time. Things could change. They could -- finally -- attain the Status they believe they deserve...

It will not happen.

Ever.

Cards have been dealt.

You will never be Elite, which means you will always be Nothing. I have accepted this in myself, and rarely consider suicide anymore. Well, I still think about suicide a lot, but I feel there is a difference now: at least when I drink enough to ignore the contradictions...

And that is the best I can do for my patients: gently get them to settle for the life they have, and tell them this acceptance makes a difference. Of course, they never accept this. Which is why I have a steady business. Depression is a market that is always accepting new customers...

I am very drunk, but I will drive to the Liquor Store to get more alcohol. It's OK, I make the drive drunk all the time...


I am Laslo.


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