Thursday, September 29, 2016

"Yeah. Johnny, in all of out time together, never once kissed my penis. He is a selfish boy."

Stunted Gnomish Boy says:

I went over to the neighbor's house again, and saw something that made my heart hurt SO bad...

As I approached I saw Johnny Baker leaving Brent's house. Johnny Baker! he was a year ahead of me in school, and everybody liked him. No: everybody LOVED him. He was smart, and athletic, and he looked good with his shirt off...

I asked Brent why Johnny was there, and Brent said that Johnny was a friend, too. Brent had another friend? Like me, only better in every way? I didn't think anything could hurt so much, not even my Dad laughing at me was like this...

Brent saw the look in my eyes, and spoke in a soft voice.

"When I met Johnny he was like you, you know?"

No, I didn't know.

He was shy, unsure of himself, a little overweight and din't wash his hair often enough. I guess that WAS like me.

"So what happened?" I asked.

"Johnny and I hung out, and he built up his confidence and his body. Like you're starting to do, now."


"But you are better than Johnny," Brent said, and I couldn't help but feel Hope stir inside me.

"Me? Better than Johnny?"

"Yeah. Johnny, in all of out time together, never once kissed my penis. He is a selfish boy."

"But I've never kissed your penis, either."

"I know, but I also know that one day you WILL. You are a stellar friend."

'Stellar"? I would never have guessed in a million years that someone should call me 'stellar.'I let the moment float around me like warm water.

"So do you want me to..."

""No, not now," Brent said with authority in his voice. "You're not ready yet. No need to hurry."

I felt both childish and relieved. I was relieved that I didn't have to kiss Brent's penis right now, but I felt childish for feeling that way. But Brent said I would know when I was ready. Brent was really good at understanding things like that...

I am The Replacement Laslo.

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