"Good afternoon, officer."
"License and registration, please. Do you know why I pulled you over?"
"I didn't signal when I changed lanes?"
"No, that's not it. Do you know you have a black man stuck under your car?
"Really? I just thought I needed new shock absorbers."
"It is definitely a black man under your car."
"Oh my. I don't know how that could have happened."
"Did you by any chance drive through the protest back on the interstate?"
"Sure. It was a mess. Glad I got out of there."
"Well, I think you ran over a protester. He's stuck under your chassis. Black man."
"Does he need help getting out from there?"
"I don't think that is an issue anymore. His legs came off about a mile back in front of the Burger King."
"This isn't good."
"Yeah. You've been driving with him face-down on the asphalt. He's like half a pencil with a worn-out eraser."
"What is going to happen to me?"
"This is a serious matter. You do realize I can't let you off with just a warning."
"So I'm writing you a ticket for changing lanes without using your signal."
"Oh boy. That's gonna jack up my car insurance."
"The law is the law."
"Yes, sir. Sir?"
"What do I do about the dismembered black man under my car?"
"High-pressure hose would be my best guess."
"Thank you, officer."
Laslo would know where to go from here.
I am The Replacement Laslo.