There was a girl who loved David Foster Walace. Sure, she had boyfriends with "Infinite Jest" on the bookshelves, but she actually read it.
She read it, and wanted a man who could talk like David Foster Wallace to her.
She searched and searched, but everyone she met talked like bad comments on a blog no one bothered to read. Sure, they could talk first-person-shooters, but she wanted more.
She wanted footnotes whispered sweetly in her ear.
So she never found anyone.
Laslo would know where to go from here.
I am The Replacement Laslo.