"You're a TERRIBLE roommate Nikki. I want everyone to know that."
"But what have I done to you, Jessica? I've tried to be a good roommate, really."
"You leave paper coffee cups everywhere rather than throw them away, you leave the bathroom a mess, you've licked my boyfriend's balls..."
"That's what this is about, isn't it? That I licked your boyfriend's balls?"
"Well, that's part of it, yes."
"It was part of Study Group! If a guy asked me a question and I didn't know the answer I had to lick his balls, that's all. I licked a LOT of balls."
"Maybe you should study harder."
"Yeah, I know."
"Or did you get the answer wrong on purpose just so you could lick my boyfriend's balls?"
"Jessica! No! I don't even like your boyfriend that way!"
"So my boyfriend isn't good enough for Princess Nikki? Is that it?"
"No, no. It's just that he's yours, that's all. Besides, he didn't even seem all that excited for me to lick his balls."
So what was the question you couldn't answer?"
"I couldn't say what a 'Glory Hole' was. Your boyfriend is GREAT in Gay Studies."
"My boyfriend is very smart."
"He must've had a bad night, though: he got a lot of answers wrong. He licked a LOT of balls that night."
"Well, can you at least not go to those Study Groups with my boyfriend? For me?"
"Yeah. I don't think they even liked me being there. I'm not even invited to the next one."
"Why is that?"
"They say it is 'Gay Bukkake Study Night'..."
Laslo would know where to go from here.
I am The Replacement Laslo.