Diary of a NYT Reporter…
Monday: Had lunch with a Democratic operative “off the record”. He bought lunch — nice restaurant, I had the most expensive item on the menu! He gave me a list of points about the article I was writing: with his notes it practically writes itself!
Tuesday: Met with editor. Told me to change “unnamed source” to “an expert who spoke on the condition of anonymity”. Damn that really did make a difference!
Wednesday: Student loan payment is due. Money is tight: need to hit up some sources for more free lunches to get by. Probably a good time to pad the expense account: I have a source that is good for me picking up the tab, then reimbursing me in cash: Ka-ching!
Thursday: Met girl at bar: told her I was a reporter for The New York Times. She told me that’s cool, she LOVES “The New Yorker” — especially the cartoons. I didn’t correct her, but told her I did some of the cartoons myself, it was just one of my talents that comes effortlessly. Gave some bullshit about the importance of line and composition. Got a blow-job. Eh: average.
Friday: Rent is due. For everything I do for this country I should be making a lot more money. I SHAPE OPINION, dammit. I'd ask for a raise, but there are a hundred people behind me that would gladly take my job. Capitalism sucks.
Saturday: Editor calls me at home. Says I need to shift to the passive voice when describing bad things happening to those on “our Side.” I’ll get the hang of this yet.
Sunday: Bill collector keeps calling. For everything I do for this country I should be making a LOT more money. Maybe it is not my place to say, but I think the paper should’ve pushed for Bernie Sanders, not Hillary: it would’ve been cool to get my student loan forgiven. Still, I figure the Powers-That-Be they know what they’re doing.
I am Laslo.