Thursday, November 3, 2016

"Sure, I'll play your game: one percent."

"What are the odds of me taking you home from this bar and making sweet, sweet love to you?"

"Zero percent."

"Okay, okay. But what if I were to give you ten thousand dollars to make this happen?"

"Still zero."

"Ah. You obviously don't know how statistics work. My research shows forty-seven percent of women will rank their answer as 'remotely possible', 'possible' or 'yes'."

"Still zero, buddy."

"What if I increased the offer to one-hundred thousand dollars?"

"Sure, I'll play your game: one percent."

"Hmmm. My statistics show an increase in women from forty-seven percent to seventy-one percent when asked this question. The figure is even higher among the age thirty-five-to-forty-five bracket."

"I'm NOT thirty-five."

"Yes, I understand: I have you in the below-twenty-five category. What if the offer was increased to one million dollars?"

"Two percent."

"You drive a hard bargain. Ninety-three percent of women take the million. What amount would you need to put you in the fifty-percent-and-above category?"

"You'd never have THAT much money."

"Sure, sure. But what if it was Matthew McConaughey AND five-million dollars?"

"Ha! OK: I'm above fifty-percent."

"Thank you for your participation."

"That's it? You're not even going to try to buy me a drink?"

"Buy you a drink? No, no: not when there's over a fifty-percent chance that you're a Whore..."

I am Laslo.

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