Tuesday, November 15, 2016

"Increase Your Banana Size: It Works!"

Laslo News Services reports:

Facebook has previously stated that they will use an algorithm, rather than rely on human experts, to determine trending news.

Now, sources say, Facebook will also be using an algorithm to determine the truthfulness of posted articles.

Further, sources say that by "algorithm" Facebook is secretly referring instead to a team of one thousand monkeys chained to computers.

Articles already determined 'truthful' by the Facebook chimpanzees include:

"Trump Is A Poop Head"

"Republicans Are Poop Poop"

"Peaceful Protests Against Poop Trump"


"Increase Your Banana Size: It Works!

Some insiders say the chimpanzees' effectiveness is questionable. Speaking on condition of not being named, one insider said the following.

"Sure, they are right a surprising amount of the time, but they often spend time writing gibberish."

“The fool doth think he is wise, but the wise man knows himself to be a fool.” ...

“Love all, trust a few, do wrong to none.” ...


“The fault, dear Brutus, is not in our stars, but in ourselves.”

The insider added: "Like no one even knows what that stuff means, anyway."

I am Laslo.


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