You know: I'm not black, but I SO feel what he is going through...

(White couple, Ted and Alana, watching Election Returns with black friend, Dave)

Ted: I... I can't believe this is happening.

Alana: I think I'm going to cry.

Dave: Uh... sure.

Alana: I mean, this is going to be rough on everybody, but for you, Dave, you being, well...

Dave: ...a black man?

Alana: Yeah. It's got to be absolutely heartbreaking for you.

Dave: I'll survive.

Ted: That's my MAN! Don't let it bring you down!

Alana: (starting to sob) I feel like I need to apologize to you, Dave...

Ted: It's okay, honey...

Dave: Apologize? To me?

Alana: Yeah. Apologize to you on account of white people. Not ALL white people are racist, Dave -- I hope you can remember that...

Dave: Yeah. I'll keep that in mind.

Ted: I can't BELIEVE people voted for that guy.

Alana: Rednecks, honey. I told you about the rednecks.

Ted: Rednecks and hillbillies. It's like their vote counts as much as mine.

Alana: A college degree should matter. Right? Maybe only people who've been to college should vote...

Dave: Well...

Ted: Oh... yeah. I mean, a lot of black people don't get to go to college because of racism...

Alana: Racism.

Ted: THEY'D still get to vote, just not the hillbillies.

Alana: Or rednecks.

Dave: I'm good with everyone getting to vote; it's all of our's President, right?

Ted: You are SO strong, Dave.

Alana: Yeah: strong. I mean, aren't you, as a ...

Ted: ...black man.

Alana: Yeah, a black man: aren't you afraid of this guy coming to President? I feel like we elected Hitler (sobs)...

Ted: Hold me, honey (consoles Alana).

Ted: You know, this is hitting you guys pretty hard. I think I'm going to head off -- got an early day at work tomorrow...

Ted: Dave, have I told you how Strong you are?

Alana: You're a strong man, Dave. I'm soooo sorry... (sobs)

Dave: I'll be fine, you guys. Just take care of each other, alright?

(Dave gets up to leave, pauses at doorway. reaches into coat packet, pulls out "Make America Great Again" hat, puts it on)

Dave: Good night, guys...

(Dave leaves)

Ted: I think he didn't want to cry in front of us.

Alana: I think you're right, Ted. he could've, you know? He could've cried in front of us -- we'd understand.

Ted: You know: I'm not black, but I SO feel what he is going through...

Alana: Me too, honey: me too...

(end scene)

I am Laslo.

https://althouse.blogspot.com/2016/11/the-first-saturday-night-live-after.html

ADDED:

First post: 8:10
Second post: 8:38

Wrote it in less than half an hour.

With no expletives or anal sex.

Lorne: call me.

I am Laslo.