Socially Awkward Guy Who Makes No Eye Contact says:
People are always telling me that I need to smile because I look like a loser, but then when I smile they say I look super-creepy. So basically, those are the only two ways people see me: it is certainly the only ways they act towards me. Either way, they usually tell me I need to wash my hair, because my hair is stringy and greasy and gross...
But when I'm a fourteen-year-old girl on the Internet everything changes. I'm popular, and everyone wants to fuck me. Well, maybe not everyone, but a lot of older men: when I'm sad they want to make me happy, and when I'm happy they send me pictures of their dick and say they want to meet me in person...
So I say a lot of things like:
"My breasts are getting SOooo big. I hope that's normal."
"Would a penis THAT big fit in where I go pee-pee?"
"If I swallow it will a baby grow in my stomach?"
Who knows? Maybe I was meant to be a fourteen-year-old girl, even if only to feel love from older men who smile creepy and want to show me their penis: still, it sounds better than what I have now. But then -- of course -- I'd probably be a creepy fourteen-year-old girl, with hair that is stringy and greasy and gross...
Like no one else thinks these things.
I hope the Girl with the Blue Hair is working at McDonalds today.
I am Laslo.