Socially Awkward Guy Who Makes No Eye Contact says:
Yesterday I was at McDonalds, sitting at my favorite table, when the Girl with Blue Hair walked right by me on her way to the bathroom. She was so close she practically brushed my elbow.
Was this a sign? Did she want me to follow her? Could it be? No? Yes? Maybe I would walk into the bathroom and see her, waiting for me.
"I see how you look at me," she would say, fingers running through her Blue Hair.
"I can tell you don't want to fuck me. You're not like the others."
"I am not like the others."
"No, you're different. I like different."
"I am very different."
"So what is it that you want to do with me?"
Summoning up more courage than I ever thought I had, I would say:
"I want to pee on you. I want you on your knees and I want to pee on you."
"That's not what I expected," she would say.
"I'm sorry, I --"
"No -- no: don't apologize. I told you I like 'different'. Tell me what you would do."
"Well, you'd be on your knees, I would pull out my dick, and I would pee on you. I think that's pretty much it."
"Could I wear sunglasses when you pee on me? I wouldn't want to get it in my eyes."
"I like sunglasses. I don't like to make eye contact. Eye contact scares me."
She started to say something else, but the spell was broken when she came out of the bathroom and walked by me again on her way to the counter.
Did I disappoint her? Was she in there, waiting for me, and I blew it?
It was a horrible night, thinking these thoughts over and over and over.
One more chance, God: please give me one more chance.
Like no one else thinks these things.
I hope the Girl with the Blue Hair is working at McDonalds today.
I am Laslo.