"How many votes did you cast today?"
"Four so far, mister."
"Outstanding! Get in the Van! Get - In - The - Van! What did they get you for the last votes -- a pack of cigarettes?"
"They already have given me TWO packs of cigarettes. And I held out for menthols and a free lighter: I'm not stupid."
"So what do you need for me to get you to vote again at the next stop?"
"I wanna Big Mac."
"Big Mac? What is that -- about three dollars?"
"Twelve dollars."
"Big Macs are twelve dollars now?"
"I want twelve dollars for a Big Mac. And I want five dollars for a Coke."
"That seems a little steep..."
"Then you can just let my ass out right here. Makes no difference to me who buys my votes."
"Okay, okay: twelve dollars for a Big Mac, and five dollars for a Coke. But I want THREE votes for that."
"Sure thing. For an even twenty I'll even intimidate some voters for you, too."
"That sounds promising..."
"Oh yeah. I walk up on those people and give them the spooky eye and the jingle fingers: they get to leaving, fast."
"It's a deal."
"I want the money up front, my man."
"Up front? I don't know: how can I know to trust you?"
"Don't you go and make this a race thing, motherfucker."
"Okay, okay, payment up front, payment up front..."
I am Laslo.
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