Like how does she know THAT -- she was passed out.

Dude With Seven Restraining Orders says:

They keep saying I'm a stalker, but I don't stalk, I just follow a lot, you know? I mean, if I'm on a public street, I should have every right to walk where I want to walk, unless this ain't America anymore...

I don't get it: one night you meet a girl at the bar and go to her place and party, and the next thing you know the Police say you can't come within thirty feet of her: what am I supposed to do, carry a fucking tape measure everywhere...?

And at least it should be consistent: there's some chicks I have to stay thirty feet away from, others it's fifty feet. Why don't you all just put it in metric while you're at it? I have to keep a notebook on me just to keep it all straight...

This one chick, she says I had sex with her when she was passed out drunk. Like how does she know THAT -- she was passed out. Besides, I used a condom, so it ain't like I got sperm in her or nothing...

And, yes, I did put a pubic hair on that one girl's Starbucks cup, but the person who says they saw me do it is lying...

I am Laslo.

https://althouse.blogspot.com/2016/10/i-saw-news-story-and-was-empowered-by.html