"Mom? I can't find my socks!"
"Just a minute, honey -- your Dad and I are shooting up."
"What is 'shooting up' Mommy?"
"It's when Daddy and Me take our medicine."
"Medicine, Mommy? Are you and daddy sick?"
"Your Daddy and me have an illness, baby, but it's nothing to worry about. The medicine makes us all better."
"Is the medicine why you guys get so sleepy all the time?"
"Yes, honey. It's powerful medicine. When I take my medicine I don't have that feeling."
"What feeling, Mommy?"
"The feeling where I want to drown you and your siblings in the bathtub."
"You want to drown us, Mommy?"
"Or set the house on fire. Mommy wishes she could start over."
"Mommy, why would you drown us or set us on fire?"
"Because then you would be safe in Heaven, sweetie, and Mommy and Daddy could then do whatever we felt like doing, anytime we wanted to."
"I wish you could do that, Mommy. I want you to be happy."
"Thank you, sweetie. Do you want Mommy to help you take a bath? You can play 'Underwater Mermaid'...
"No, Mommy. I think I want to do my bath by myself..."
Laslo would know where to go from here.
I am The Replacement Laslo.