Dude With Seven Restraining Orders says:
So I see this one chick on the street who has a retaining order on me, so I cross the street to keep my distance. But no, that isn't enough for her: I see her pull out her phone, and I KNOW she is calling the cops. So I go into the corner Starbucks and wait: I've been through this drill before...
The police show up, and she points at me from across the street, so now everyone is looking at me like I'm some kind of creep when the Police come in and approach me...
Yes, I understand that I am supposed to keep a distance from her: that is why I crossed the street.
Yes, I know this is serious, and not to be taken lightly: that is why I crossed the street.
She is legally protected from contact from me: that is why I crossed the street.
You don't seem to be understanding the gravity of this situation: I do understand the gravity of the situation, that is why I crossed the street.
They allude to taking me to jail, but they don't do it: they never do, BECAUSE I FOLLOWED THE LAW -- I crossed the fucking street.
Some chicks, they get everything their way and it still ain't good enough.
Look: I didn't mean to fuck you in the ass, it just slipped. Once I realized what had happened I took my dick out as soon as I came…
Now I'm sitting -- legally -- in a Starbucks with a mocha that has gone cold, all because of her being all high-strung and all. She should be buying ME a new hot mocha, but I bet the thought would never ever cross her mind: she obviously only cares about herself….
And, yes, I did put a pubic hair on that one girl's Starbucks cup, but the person who says they saw me do it is lying...
I am Laslo.